How Do You Say Goodbye?


The loveable & effervescent  Susan Fletcher

The loveable & effervescent Susan Fletcher

How do you say goodbye to someone you love?

When I say goodbye I mean forever. The last goodbye, when someone dies.

I have found there is no one way.

In August 2013 a dear friend of 41 committed suicide. I was extremely angry. I tried to reason through a reasonless situation. At the funeral I wore black.

In December that same year my father of  91 passed away. Although extremely sad it was a celebration. He had lived a long happy life and it was his time, as his body was giving up. I stayed with him right till the end. At the celebration service I wore a brightly patterned dress.

A week later another friend 32, committed suicide. He had everything going in his life but he couldn’t see it. This time I had a harder time rationalising the tragedy. At the funeral I wore black.

Now my good friend Susan who I have known for 20 years has gone from this world. I know she called Jesus her Lord and will be with him in heaven but I am at a loss on how to feel. I was not allowed to visit her to say goodbye (only family). The last time I saw her was New Years Eve, at that stage she was given 5 months to live and she was better than she had been the week before when I saw her. We only spoke on the phone after that but she did not want me to visit. She said she was too tired. Not long after, I sent her flowers in hospital with a note that reminded her of a funny incident we had together. The next day she deteriorated, within two she was gone. This wonderful lady brought fun and laughter into my life. Every time I walked out her door I would always be carrying some lovely thing she wanted me to have. One day it was brandy glasses, the next clothes, whiskey glasses, a dvd player she couldn’t get to work but it did for me. She even let me film a short film in her house. We took over the entire house and created havoc. She took my husband and I out for an elaborate dinner after we renewed our vows. (Photo above) The funny movies we watched, the lunches we ate, the dancing. I will never forget. She was big in generosity and overwhelming joy. I will look forward to more good times with her in heaven. What will I wear to her funeral? I couldn’t wear black, something bright like her.

How do you say goodbye to a dear friend? I guess you never do.

Any thoughts on coping with the death of a loved one, please comment. 

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